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That Time I Ruined Christmas
During my formative teenage years I did some stupid things. Hey, everybody does. Kids are plain dumb. It’s been proven time and time again. You always hear about some kid blowing his hand off playing...
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A Modern Day Christmas Poem
Santa is coming The little boy said He comes down the chimney While I’m snug in my bed He brings me the toys That I’ve wanted all year He eats half a cookie And drinks seven beers He opens the fridge...
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The Greatest Gift Of All (No, Not Life)
The Christmas Season is here, guys and gals. Or lady guys, if you gals prefer? What’s that? You don’t want me to call you gals or lady guys? You want to be taken seriously and therefore you insist that...
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Newsflash: Your True Love Is A Dick
Every year around Christmas time, someone writes an updated fiscal report on how much The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost in todays dollars. One that I read this year states that all these gifts...
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The War On Thanksgiving
A lot of retail stores have decided that Christmas shopping is so important that they need to open on Thanksgiving. That’s right. Some are opening at 6PM on Thanksgiving Day. Fuck them. Fuck their...
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A Ghost Of Christmas Past
The 1970’s were a great time to be alive. There was so much going on. There was that cool song that everybody loved. There was that guy that used to always say that crazy catchphrase on that show. Oh...
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Conquering The Kris Kringle Conundrum
I remember the first time someone told me that Santa Claus didn’t really exist. Sorry, should I have said Spoiler Alert? I was in second grade, and it was during recess. Not morning recess mind you,...
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That Time I Ruined Christmas
During my formative teenage years I did some stupid things. Hey, everybody does. Kids are plain dumb. It’s been proven time and time again. You always hear about some kid blowing his hand off playing...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Greatest Gift Of All (No, Not Life)
The Christmas Season is here, guys and gals. Or lady guys, if you gals prefer? What’s that? You don’t want me to call you gals or lady guys? You want to be taken seriously and therefore you insist that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Newsflash: Your True Love Is A Dick
Every year around Christmas time, someone writes an updated fiscal report on how much The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost in todays dollars. One that I read this year states that all these gifts...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Ghost Of Christmas Past
The 1970’s were a great time to be alive. There was so much going on. There was that cool song that everybody loved. There was that guy that used to always say that crazy catchphrase on that show. Oh...
View Article
